Well you have to start somewhere. I am not sure I was making any form of a start. This weekend I had an abscess on my head that I had to deal with. Right now I got this patch on my head and a hole in my head stuffed with gauze. It was a reminder of what I am doing to my body. I feel like it was my body saying "hey your not gonna take care of me, then I am going to revolt." So another warning comes, wow the warnings have stacked.
One thing I can say is that I take pride in my physical well being. I have compromised it for drugs, as I have compromised almost everything. I need to stop compromising. I need to stop laying around and feeling sorry for myself. Nothing will ever change if I never change. So today and even a little yesterday I worked to make some positive changes. I cleaned my kitchen. I cooked a batch of chili yesterday and for the last two days I have been eating heartily, and it has felt good. There is more, I made it to two meetings yesterday and I made it to two meetings today. In between the two meetings I worked from the NA step working guides, I communicated with other addicts and I applied for a job. Since the new year that is the second job I applied for. I am intelligent enough to know you cannot get a job if you do not even try, believe me. But I have allowed misery to enslave me and hold me down, so employment endeavors have been extremely limited. In the past two days I have also reconnected with old friends, friends from my days of social acceptance and I realize where I have taken my life on the path of self destruction. I pray God can help me have the right attitude to make the right choices going forward, for some reason I feel like God was with me yesterday and today.
I am thankful for the miracle of my life today. I am thankful that I can make right choices still and I do not have to self destruct this is a choice. I am thankful that I can take the first step. Thank You!!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment